"How are you?"

I've been trying, and failing, to come up with an answer to this question for months now.  Everyone asks, and it's so hard to answer.  My default response has always been "Oh, not so bad", but that's really not true these days.  If I go into any detail, people will, understandably, just glaze over and quickly try to change the subject, or get away from me asap.  People that I know have intimate knowledge of the process, I feel I can share more with - and I've frequently received useful tips/advice/encouragement from fellow travelers, particularly at the support group that I don't attend as often as I'd like on Monday mornings.


People tell me I'm looking good - but that is basically because I've lost 25lbs since this thing started.  I'm now down below the weight I reached when I was cycling 35 miles a day, which is kind of ironic
 
How I DO feel is, generally, shitty.  Today, coming up to a week after the infusion session, I am still feeling the neuropathy pains and cold sensitivity - I drove down to Oliver's to get coffee on Saturday morning and could barely hold the steering wheel! Thankfully we're not in a cold climate, or it would be unbearable. I regularly get nauseous - particularly first thing in the morning - although I've only actually thrown up a couple of times.  I'm doing very little physically, but am permanently exhausted. 

I walk every day, but I'm not getting any further, I get to the end of the street and have to turn back because I'm scared of going too far - plus, I'm so slow that I am overtaken by even the slowest walkers.  I guess the slow pace has it's advantages, though - one day last week, Jean and I saw a tiny mole (it looked like a small ball of fur) scurry across the road in front of us and then were able to watch as it dug down into the earth incredibly quickly, and follow it's subterranean progress by watching the dirt rise and fall.  Then, on Friday I was treated to the beautiful butterfly in the picture, which stayed helpfully still for a good while, so I was able to get out and prep the camera.

I've got an appointment with the INS tomorrow to renew my Green Card, and then I am hoping to be able to do some work - from home - for the rest of the week.  Hopefully, having something to focus on will help my mood (it would also help if the Giants would start playing proper baseball!!!).